I am leaving for Cambodia later this month!
I feel like I need to write out more of my thoughts; as this time is sweet and beautiful and I don’t want it passing away without writing down even a fraction of how much I’m thinking.
In the past few days, I have heard some important words from Jesus; from my Bible and through the words of David Platt in some sermons I downloaded online. Here are some of them:
'In the same way, any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple.' Luke 14:33
‘If you want to be my disciple, you must hate everyone else by comparison—your father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even your own life. Otherwise, you cannot be my disciple.’ Luke 14:26
‘but none of these things move me; neither do I esteem my life dear to myself, if only I may finish my course with joy and the ministry which I have obtained from the Lord Jesus; faithfully to attest to the good news of God's grace.’ Acts 20:24
‘A certain ruler asked him, "Good teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?" "Why do you call me good?" Jesus answered. "No one is good—except God alone. You know the commandments: 'Do not commit adultery, do not murder, do not steal, do not give false testimony, honor your father and mother.' "All these I have kept since I was a boy," he said. When Jesus heard this, he said to him, "You still lack one thing. Sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me." When he heard this, he became very sad, because he was a man of great wealth. Jesus looked at him and said, "How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God! Indeed, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God."
Those who heard this asked, "Who then can be saved?" Jesus replied, "What is impossible with men is possible with God." Peter said to him, "We have left all we had to follow you!" "I tell you the truth," Jesus said to them, "no one who has left home or wife or brothers or parents or children for the sake of the kingdom of God will fail to receive many times as much in this age and, in the age to come, eternal life.’ Luke 18:18-30
'Think back on those early days when you first learned about Christ. Remember how you remained faithful even though it meant terrible suffering. Sometimes you were exposed to public ridicule and were beaten, and sometimes you helped others who were suffering the same things. You suffered along with those who were thrown into jail, and when all you owned was taken from you, you accepted it with joy. You knew there were better things waiting for you that will last forever.' Hebrews 10:32-34
'So do not be afraid of them. There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known. What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight; what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the roofs. Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell. Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered.’ Matthew 10:26-30
All of these words speak so much to me; most importantly, they make me deeply joyful to follow Jesus.
He reminds me:
I do not need to be afraid. He knows the number of hairs on my head.
I want to be like Peter: ‘Lord, we left ALL WE HAD to follow you.’
As Paul says in his letter to the Hebrews, ‘when all you had was taken from you, you accepted it with joy; knowing that better things were waiting…’ despite what the world around me shouts.
I believe that I will find true life if I am willing to lose my life for His sake- even if I don’t see what that ‘true life’ looks like for a long time.
I want it to be clear that I love Jesus with ALL my heart, soul, and mind because of the way I live.
This is hard to write, because it is HARD to live. but it's true.
I don’t write this because I think that it will be easy, or that it is easy. But it IS my heart. I DO believe it with all my heart. And I am excited and most of all joyful to open my hands to Jesus for the rest of my life. This isn’t new, or just starting now. But I am, I suppose, beginning a new step soon.
I am sometimes afraid of the unknowns that lie ahead. I don’t at all think this is straightforward, or simple, or going to be easy. I will cry a lot when I have to say goodbye to the people that I love in my house and in my family. But I trust Jesus MORE.
And I have decided if anything, I would like the trust and JOY found only in Him to be known deeply by those in my life. I want to love those around me well these last days because He loves us well; and pray that He could use this time in all of us to remind us of what this time we have here on earth is really about. It is not about the things that so often take up our time and our energy. Forgive us, Lord.
I believe Jesus STILL seeks to change the world- through imperfect followers like us. I pray we could be deaf to what the world around us deems important, and then be able to hear from Jesus who still calls us today to ‘give up everything, and come follow me!’
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Monday, February 22, 2010
prayer
O God, help us to be like your Beloved Son, Jesus.
May our baptism be as his was,
binding us in utter solidarity with your world.
Forgive our breathless quest for private spiritual solace
that does not immerse us in the needs of those
buried in the rubble of earthquakes, oppression, and poverty.
Gracious Lord, who in creation made us one humanity
and in your Son created one body in which all share one bread,
pour out on us the delight
of being fully alive in your boundless agape.
Lamb of God, who takes away the sins of the world,
have mercy on us.
Lamb of God, who takes away the sins of the world,
have mercy on us.
Lamb of God, who takes away the sins of the world,
grant us your peace.
In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Amen.
James Anderson
May our baptism be as his was,
binding us in utter solidarity with your world.
Forgive our breathless quest for private spiritual solace
that does not immerse us in the needs of those
buried in the rubble of earthquakes, oppression, and poverty.
Gracious Lord, who in creation made us one humanity
and in your Son created one body in which all share one bread,
pour out on us the delight
of being fully alive in your boundless agape.
Lamb of God, who takes away the sins of the world,
have mercy on us.
Lamb of God, who takes away the sins of the world,
have mercy on us.
Lamb of God, who takes away the sins of the world,
grant us your peace.
In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Amen.
James Anderson
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
authority
At church a situation was mentioned about a Portland politician who said that perhaps one day Portland would be Jesus’ favorite city. After receiving jabs from the media, he clarified; stating that he hoped Portland would be a city that is built on love, understanding, and social justice. Jesus is of course known by all to value these, and as a follower of Jesus I am happy to find Him identified in these values, knowing all agree on their importance. Yet if I indentify Jesus as loving and understanding, someone who values justice for all- and that’s it… I am missing ALL of who Jesus is.
Yes, these are easy things to identify with Him. We can see that. But to see Him as:
“the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation…by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible…He is before all things, and in him all things hold together.” (Colossians 1:15-17)
This is different.
We are reading through the Gospel of Mark. In Chapter 1, Jesus is teaching in the synagogue, and the people see He is different than the others they have heard.
“The people were amazed at his teaching, because he taught them as one who had authority, not as the teachers of the law. Just then a man in their synagogue who was possessed by an evil spirit cried out, "What do you want with us, Jesus of Nazareth? Have you come to destroy us? I know who you are—the Holy One of God!" "Be quiet!" said Jesus sternly. "Come out of him!" The evil spirit shook the man violently and came out of him with a shriek.
“The people were all so amazed that they asked each other, "What is this? A new teaching—and with authority! He even gives orders to evil spirits and they obey him." (22-27)
Jesus has authority. My desire is for Him to have authority over every piece of my life. Sometimes I think He does. But sometimes I am selfish. Some things are easy to give up. But giving Him everything is not easy.
Yet I honestly trust Him. We sang a song; the line, “this world has nothing for me” was simple and true.
I have been thankful and so much aware of the blessing of my days lately. I have more freedom with my time than I have in a long time. I have great friends. I have had the opportunity to play at the beach and in the mountains- in just the past two days! I have every reason to be happy.
And I am happy. But the happiness is more than that. It is joy, which outlasts circumstances. If I were living for free time, adventure, friendship, and the fun random days, I might be happy sometimes. But the joy I have is deeper. It has come from giving (or attempting to give!) Jesus authority over my life. There are lots of times I must give it up again and again. But I felt it last night, “there is so much more to life than these things...” And even though I don’t know what that means, I move forward. Step by step, day by day- by faith and not by sight. It is not always simple or straightforward, but the JOY is there because Jesus is more to me than a lover of social justice. He is my authority, who holds all things together.
Yes, these are easy things to identify with Him. We can see that. But to see Him as:
“the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation…by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible…He is before all things, and in him all things hold together.” (Colossians 1:15-17)
This is different.
We are reading through the Gospel of Mark. In Chapter 1, Jesus is teaching in the synagogue, and the people see He is different than the others they have heard.
“The people were amazed at his teaching, because he taught them as one who had authority, not as the teachers of the law. Just then a man in their synagogue who was possessed by an evil spirit cried out, "What do you want with us, Jesus of Nazareth? Have you come to destroy us? I know who you are—the Holy One of God!" "Be quiet!" said Jesus sternly. "Come out of him!" The evil spirit shook the man violently and came out of him with a shriek.
“The people were all so amazed that they asked each other, "What is this? A new teaching—and with authority! He even gives orders to evil spirits and they obey him." (22-27)
Jesus has authority. My desire is for Him to have authority over every piece of my life. Sometimes I think He does. But sometimes I am selfish. Some things are easy to give up. But giving Him everything is not easy.
Yet I honestly trust Him. We sang a song; the line, “this world has nothing for me” was simple and true.
I have been thankful and so much aware of the blessing of my days lately. I have more freedom with my time than I have in a long time. I have great friends. I have had the opportunity to play at the beach and in the mountains- in just the past two days! I have every reason to be happy.
And I am happy. But the happiness is more than that. It is joy, which outlasts circumstances. If I were living for free time, adventure, friendship, and the fun random days, I might be happy sometimes. But the joy I have is deeper. It has come from giving (or attempting to give!) Jesus authority over my life. There are lots of times I must give it up again and again. But I felt it last night, “there is so much more to life than these things...” And even though I don’t know what that means, I move forward. Step by step, day by day- by faith and not by sight. It is not always simple or straightforward, but the JOY is there because Jesus is more to me than a lover of social justice. He is my authority, who holds all things together.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
broken pieces
God, I sit
desperate for you to show yourself
desperate for your wisdom
desperate for your healing
the broken pieces of the world have been thrown into mine
and as much as I want to heal
and make everything better
it is not my job
it’s yours
but for all I am able
give me something I can do
a broken piece
so that I can do my share.
and no matter how dark and heavy it gets,
I want to be in the midst of it,
not far away
but you must be the only light that burns inside of me
You are the only light in this darkness.
‘…and his life brought light to everyone. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it.’ John 1:4-5
desperate for you to show yourself
desperate for your wisdom
desperate for your healing
the broken pieces of the world have been thrown into mine
and as much as I want to heal
and make everything better
it is not my job
it’s yours
but for all I am able
give me something I can do
a broken piece
so that I can do my share.
and no matter how dark and heavy it gets,
I want to be in the midst of it,
not far away
but you must be the only light that burns inside of me
You are the only light in this darkness.
‘…and his life brought light to everyone. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it.’ John 1:4-5
Friday, January 22, 2010
loved
the deep awareness of the reality of my situation hit me again yesterday. I am moving to a different country, following only the direction of Jesus. it is real. and it is a little scary too. but the deep awareness was that of how much I am loved by those He has given me. and how great it is to love them back. it was strange and beautiful and yet incredibly real and almost tangible to ponder, and I am grateful in a way I could never put into words. I know that I never want to forget it, though, so I am writing it down.
an anonymous quotation from my high school journal came to me as I reflected.
'there is no surprise more magical than the surprise of being loved; it is God's hand on our shoulder...'
an anonymous quotation from my high school journal came to me as I reflected.
'there is no surprise more magical than the surprise of being loved; it is God's hand on our shoulder...'
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
warm pockets
On Saturday morning I embraced the chilly Colorado winter and went for a run along the Santa Fe Trail, which runs right along the property where I am staying. My computer told me it was 19 degrees, so I wore my hat, gloves, and layered on the clothes, as I was determined to enjoy the sunny winter morning and didn’t want any excuse to return inside. For the first mile and a half, my hands were almost numb, the air was thin and frigid, and I felt the heaviness of the layers I wore. Yet the sun was bright and the air was crisp and fresh.
After the first loop, I returned to where I began, and shed some of the weight, as my hands and core were now warm. I felt light; and now free to continue on the other direction.
The sun shone bright in my eyes as I ran east. The rocks slid beneath my feet.
The run was perfect. Not because it was easy, comfortable, or always felt great. But because God spoke to me through the cold, the moments by breath was short because of the 7,000 feet of rising hills, and in the moments when I was just tired.
At one point, as I ran with the sun almost blinding my eyes, I took a breath and it was warm. It was one of those warm pockets- where the air is warm in the midst of the cold surrounding it. It only lasts for a moment. I don’t understand why or how it happens- but it is so real, so tangible. It was as if I was in the middle of sunshine on the beach instead of in the mountains at 7:45am on a January morning.
My iPod played words in my ears, which spoke to me as if He were right there. I became so aware--
That He wasn’t leaving me anywhere, despite where I may go and how alone I might feel. That my life is so short- and living it for myself is really a waste of time. That no matter how hard anything in my future is; I have already overcome it with the cross of Christ. Therefore, I move forward in JOY.
'I'm forgiven by a Savior who did not deserve death
He was blameless and I was lost in shamefulness
Undelivered, but it doesn't seem right
Unless I keep my eyes focused on the Savior who gave His life
In the middle of a world that denies it believes
It is breaking apart at the very seams
There is one thing to be alive for
And it's to take up my cross and follow You Lord
When You stand, the tall trees and mountains bow
When You speak, the fiercest of oceans is still
And I see the sinner seek devotion
The lost become chosen,
and I fall to my knees
I will take up my cross and follow
Lord where You lead me
And I will take up my cross and follow
wherever you go'
(Devotion, Hillsong United)
The sun was bright. The snow sparkled. And the gravel was bumpy under my feet. And during all of this, my purpose was again called to mind. I knew He would be there; for the rest of my life, and surely on this journey ahead.
Like the sunshine.
Sometimes it was cool and colder, but the sun was never gone. The air was thin, yet I was able to go on. And during the few moments I was tired and ready to be done, His voice lingered in the air- somewhere in the warm pockets.
After the first loop, I returned to where I began, and shed some of the weight, as my hands and core were now warm. I felt light; and now free to continue on the other direction.
The sun shone bright in my eyes as I ran east. The rocks slid beneath my feet.
The run was perfect. Not because it was easy, comfortable, or always felt great. But because God spoke to me through the cold, the moments by breath was short because of the 7,000 feet of rising hills, and in the moments when I was just tired.
At one point, as I ran with the sun almost blinding my eyes, I took a breath and it was warm. It was one of those warm pockets- where the air is warm in the midst of the cold surrounding it. It only lasts for a moment. I don’t understand why or how it happens- but it is so real, so tangible. It was as if I was in the middle of sunshine on the beach instead of in the mountains at 7:45am on a January morning.
My iPod played words in my ears, which spoke to me as if He were right there. I became so aware--
That He wasn’t leaving me anywhere, despite where I may go and how alone I might feel. That my life is so short- and living it for myself is really a waste of time. That no matter how hard anything in my future is; I have already overcome it with the cross of Christ. Therefore, I move forward in JOY.
'I'm forgiven by a Savior who did not deserve death
He was blameless and I was lost in shamefulness
Undelivered, but it doesn't seem right
Unless I keep my eyes focused on the Savior who gave His life
In the middle of a world that denies it believes
It is breaking apart at the very seams
There is one thing to be alive for
And it's to take up my cross and follow You Lord
When You stand, the tall trees and mountains bow
When You speak, the fiercest of oceans is still
And I see the sinner seek devotion
The lost become chosen,
and I fall to my knees
I will take up my cross and follow
Lord where You lead me
And I will take up my cross and follow
wherever you go'
(Devotion, Hillsong United)
The sun was bright. The snow sparkled. And the gravel was bumpy under my feet. And during all of this, my purpose was again called to mind. I knew He would be there; for the rest of my life, and surely on this journey ahead.
Like the sunshine.
Sometimes it was cool and colder, but the sun was never gone. The air was thin, yet I was able to go on. And during the few moments I was tired and ready to be done, His voice lingered in the air- somewhere in the warm pockets.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
lost
my mind, distracted
I don't know how to emerge
I can't even write
I have been wanting to write lately; there are so many things on my mind. but today, all I could come up with was this haiku.
I don't know how to emerge
I can't even write
I have been wanting to write lately; there are so many things on my mind. but today, all I could come up with was this haiku.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
I have been meaning to post this...
This amazing video makes me smile and reminds me one of the reasons I love working at the hospital! I was however, a little jealous that this is a neighboring Portland hospital, but not the one I work at, so I didn't get to be a part of it.
but I LOVE THE JOY on these faces!
Friday, December 25, 2009
christmas
and they will call him Immanuel, which means ‘God with us.'
God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him. This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.
In the beginning the Word already existed. The Word was with God, and the Word was God. He existed in the beginning with God. God created everything through him, and nothing was created except through him. The Word gave life to everything that was created, and his life brought light to everyone. The light shines in the darkness,and the darkness can never extinguish it. He came into the very world he created, but the world didn’t recognize him. He came to his own people, and even they rejected him.
But to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God. They are reborn—not with a physical birth resulting from human passion or plan, but a birth that comes from God.
So the Word became human and made his home among us. He was full of unfailing love and faithfulness. And we have seen his glory, the glory of the Father’s one and only Son.
From his abundance we have all received one gracious blessing after another. For the law was given through Moses, but God’s unfailing love and faithfulness came through Jesus Christ. No one has ever seen God. But the unique One, who is himself God, is near to the Father’s heart. He has revealed God to us.
Matthew 1:23
John 1:1-5,10-14,16-18
1 John 4:9-10
God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him. This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.
In the beginning the Word already existed. The Word was with God, and the Word was God. He existed in the beginning with God. God created everything through him, and nothing was created except through him. The Word gave life to everything that was created, and his life brought light to everyone. The light shines in the darkness,and the darkness can never extinguish it. He came into the very world he created, but the world didn’t recognize him. He came to his own people, and even they rejected him.
But to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God. They are reborn—not with a physical birth resulting from human passion or plan, but a birth that comes from God.
So the Word became human and made his home among us. He was full of unfailing love and faithfulness. And we have seen his glory, the glory of the Father’s one and only Son.
From his abundance we have all received one gracious blessing after another. For the law was given through Moses, but God’s unfailing love and faithfulness came through Jesus Christ. No one has ever seen God. But the unique One, who is himself God, is near to the Father’s heart. He has revealed God to us.
Matthew 1:23
John 1:1-5,10-14,16-18
1 John 4:9-10
Sunday, December 20, 2009
on our side
I have been reflecting on the words to this song today; as Christmas draws near, this the most beautiful story of Christmas I have heard in a long time. This is truly good news, and reminds me that nothing about the real meaning of Christmas or the Gospel of Christ makes sense. And this is the best news of all.
You Are on Our Side, Bethany Dillon
The orphan clings to Your hand
Singing the song of how he was found
The widow rejoices
For her oppressors are silenced now
You sit at the table with the wounded and the poor
You laugh and share stories with the thief and the whore
When You could just be silent and leave us here to die
Still, You sent Your Son for us
You are on our side
The runaway falls at Your feet
You are what he has searched for
The rich man is broken
When he stands beneath a sky full of stars
You sit at the table with the wounded and the poor
You laugh and share stories with the thief and the whore
When You could just be silent and leave us here to die
Still, You sent Your Son for us
You are on our side
You sit at the table with the wounded and the poor
You laugh and share stories with the thief and the whore
When You could just be silent and leave us here to die
Still, You sent Your Son for us
You are on our side
Still, You sent Your Son for us
You are on our side
You Are on Our Side, Bethany Dillon
The orphan clings to Your hand
Singing the song of how he was found
The widow rejoices
For her oppressors are silenced now
You sit at the table with the wounded and the poor
You laugh and share stories with the thief and the whore
When You could just be silent and leave us here to die
Still, You sent Your Son for us
You are on our side
The runaway falls at Your feet
You are what he has searched for
The rich man is broken
When he stands beneath a sky full of stars
You sit at the table with the wounded and the poor
You laugh and share stories with the thief and the whore
When You could just be silent and leave us here to die
Still, You sent Your Son for us
You are on our side
You sit at the table with the wounded and the poor
You laugh and share stories with the thief and the whore
When You could just be silent and leave us here to die
Still, You sent Your Son for us
You are on our side
Still, You sent Your Son for us
You are on our side
Sunday, November 29, 2009
thankful 2009
for the simple and complex:
talking all night
toothpaste
sisters who aren't
running for hours
cold water from a fountain
clean towels
family dinners
photography
possibility
night lights in the city
solitude
poetry
hymns at church
being a caregiver
the right words at the right moment
contentment
laughter
meeting goals
candles
heat from the vent
holding hands
handwritten letters
listening to friends sing
papaya
discovering new music
smooth sheets
Stumptown coffee
plain yogurt
freedom in honesty
text messages
new love
breakfast in Portland
hammocks
....
talking all night
toothpaste
sisters who aren't
running for hours
cold water from a fountain
clean towels
family dinners
photography
possibility
night lights in the city
solitude
poetry
hymns at church
being a caregiver
the right words at the right moment
contentment
laughter
meeting goals
candles
heat from the vent
holding hands
handwritten letters
listening to friends sing
papaya
discovering new music
smooth sheets
Stumptown coffee
plain yogurt
freedom in honesty
text messages
new love
breakfast in Portland
hammocks
....
Thursday, November 26, 2009
join the tradition
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. I love this day, as it's just another reason to praise Jesus for the million and one ways He has blessed and provided for me. Every year, I make a list. I write down EVERYTHING. seriously, everything I can think of. the smell of soap. coffee. clean water which runs from the tap. the list goes on. I have done it for years, and I think cultivating gratitude is important. This year, as a prayer of Thanksgiving, make a list...
'Give THANKS to the Lord Almighty,
for the Lord is good;
His love endures forever.'
Jeremiah 33:11
'Give THANKS to the Lord Almighty,
for the Lord is good;
His love endures forever.'
Jeremiah 33:11
Monday, November 23, 2009
in light of eternity
Yesterday I had a brief glimpse outside my life here- and the walls I often find myself in. I had an intense vision of joy and hope. A vision of what really matters. I recalled the deep joy I have discovered in Jesus- that freedom from fear, freedom from control and freedom from failure. I was aware that He is God of the beginning, and of the end… and the God of every moment in between.
As I think about leaving the US for a while, I am comforted in knowing that this life is only a glimpse in light of eternity. So I don’t need to worry about those I leave here. I don’t have to worry about anything in the future- or in the present. I have given my life to Jesus, and this is true contentment. I can give the people I love to Him, too- and even though it’s still painful, remember that His love for these people I love is even deeper than mine. For these relationships under His care, we are really only separated for a short time. It is still not easy for me to think to think about. But I am grateful for the glimpse in light of eternity that I was given yesterday. This God who is in charge is so much bigger- and greater-than I can grasp.
“Lord, remind me how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me that my days are numbered—how fleeting my life is. You have made my life no longer than the width of my hand. My entire lifetime is just a moment to you; at best, each of us is but a breath. We are merely moving shadows, and all our busy rushing ends in nothing. We heap up wealth, not knowing who will spend it. And so, Lord, where do I put my hope? My only hope is in you. Rescue me from my rebellion...” Psalm 39:4-8
As I think about leaving the US for a while, I am comforted in knowing that this life is only a glimpse in light of eternity. So I don’t need to worry about those I leave here. I don’t have to worry about anything in the future- or in the present. I have given my life to Jesus, and this is true contentment. I can give the people I love to Him, too- and even though it’s still painful, remember that His love for these people I love is even deeper than mine. For these relationships under His care, we are really only separated for a short time. It is still not easy for me to think to think about. But I am grateful for the glimpse in light of eternity that I was given yesterday. This God who is in charge is so much bigger- and greater-than I can grasp.
“Lord, remind me how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me that my days are numbered—how fleeting my life is. You have made my life no longer than the width of my hand. My entire lifetime is just a moment to you; at best, each of us is but a breath. We are merely moving shadows, and all our busy rushing ends in nothing. We heap up wealth, not knowing who will spend it. And so, Lord, where do I put my hope? My only hope is in you. Rescue me from my rebellion...” Psalm 39:4-8
Friday, November 13, 2009
Jesus lives
This week I found Jesus living
Amidst darkness, addiction, and depression
In lives that have been wrecked by warfare, strongholds and demons
In farm families in the Midwest, businessmen in DC
Tiny tribes in Mali, and the deaf in Guatemala
In blonde-haired children, and in multi-cultural families
In those from atheist homes, Middle Eastern cities, and on the beaches of Indonesia
I was reminded
He performs miracles
He restores relationships
He changes hearts
He transforms cultures
In corners all over the world
He lives
Amidst darkness, addiction, and depression
In lives that have been wrecked by warfare, strongholds and demons
In farm families in the Midwest, businessmen in DC
Tiny tribes in Mali, and the deaf in Guatemala
In blonde-haired children, and in multi-cultural families
In those from atheist homes, Middle Eastern cities, and on the beaches of Indonesia
I was reminded
He performs miracles
He restores relationships
He changes hearts
He transforms cultures
In corners all over the world
He lives
Thursday, November 12, 2009
He is near
“If I could hear Christ praying for me in the next room, I would not fear a million enemies. Yet distance makes no difference. He is praying for me.” –Robert Murray M’Cheyne
In the last week and a half, I have felt battered by tactics of the enemy, and acutely aware of just how much I need Jesus in my life as I move forward. This week I am in training with others from around the country who are being sent around the world. We go with the message of hope found in Jesus. I know how much I need Him, but I don’t always live this way. This week, after hearing story upon story, I remember again. I am about to go on a journey that is clearly not something I can do on my own.
This morning we reflected on John 17. Our leader had us choose from three different verses in this chapter; all prayers of Jesus for us- and to make them personal. I was drawn to this:
“Father, I do not ask You to take (her) out of the world, but to keep (her) safe from the evil one. “ (from John 17:15)
I can rejoice and move forward because of Jesus; who has overcome evil on all levels, who prays for me, and who IS nearer to me than the next room.
If you read my blog and want to know more about my journey meeting Jesus in Cambodia, please write a comment!
In the last week and a half, I have felt battered by tactics of the enemy, and acutely aware of just how much I need Jesus in my life as I move forward. This week I am in training with others from around the country who are being sent around the world. We go with the message of hope found in Jesus. I know how much I need Him, but I don’t always live this way. This week, after hearing story upon story, I remember again. I am about to go on a journey that is clearly not something I can do on my own.
This morning we reflected on John 17. Our leader had us choose from three different verses in this chapter; all prayers of Jesus for us- and to make them personal. I was drawn to this:
“Father, I do not ask You to take (her) out of the world, but to keep (her) safe from the evil one. “ (from John 17:15)
I can rejoice and move forward because of Jesus; who has overcome evil on all levels, who prays for me, and who IS nearer to me than the next room.
If you read my blog and want to know more about my journey meeting Jesus in Cambodia, please write a comment!
Saturday, October 31, 2009
today's reflections
I need to remember
I am accountable
abundance requires responsibility
not everyone can eat anything they want for dinner
It doesn’t solve anything for me to go without
but may Your voice
keep me mindful
and
aware
I am filled;
most often, full in a way
that makes me uncomfortable
I am thankful;
yet I am not satisfied
how can I sleep without stirring
(even in my heart)
for those who are hungry?
It is not merely food
It is opportunity.
equality.
dignity.
respect.
I have privilege I don’t deserve
my neighbors lack that which they do
You say much will be required
(of me)
for to me, much has been given
what now, God?
I am selfish
teach me how to share
to be mindful and wise
speak your generosity into my being
show me how to give what I have away
because of Your name
I am accountable
abundance requires responsibility
not everyone can eat anything they want for dinner
It doesn’t solve anything for me to go without
but may Your voice
keep me mindful
and
aware
I am filled;
most often, full in a way
that makes me uncomfortable
I am thankful;
yet I am not satisfied
how can I sleep without stirring
(even in my heart)
for those who are hungry?
It is not merely food
It is opportunity.
equality.
dignity.
respect.
I have privilege I don’t deserve
my neighbors lack that which they do
You say much will be required
(of me)
for to me, much has been given
what now, God?
I am selfish
teach me how to share
to be mindful and wise
speak your generosity into my being
show me how to give what I have away
because of Your name
Friday, October 2, 2009
rejoice II
'my Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. but I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. and I hope that I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. and I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I know nothing about it. therefore I will trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will not leave me to face my perils alone.'
thomas merton
thomas merton
Thursday, October 1, 2009
rejoice
‘do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin...’ zechariah 4:10
Last fall I spent a week in Florida, and in that week solidified a promise I had made to God the previous October. I was welcomed into a broader family who understood God’s heart for the world. In this, I committed in word and on paper I would move to Cambodia; with a (more) clear plan in place as to how this was to happen.
Toward the end of the week, I discovered this verse. Yes, I was in the midst of a small beginning. Nothing was going to move quickly- or as quickly as maybe I would have liked. It was going to be a process; with lots of work to do along the way, lots of conversations to be had, lots of explanations. I wondered at times what the impact of this decision I had made would have- for the near future and beyond that, too. Surely I was going to be misunderstood. I was going to feel alone. I was going to be judged. I was going to look like something I am not. I was probably going to hurt people. It was scary and beyond overwhelming. Yet the joy was like nothing I could ever put into words. I was alive in a way I never wanted to lose.
I sought to know the heart of God, and I recognized my decision was ultimately His for me. No matter what happened along the way, what mattered if I were just to follow Him and do what He told me to do? So I took another step in faith- the same faith which has moved me this much closer to where I am today.
It has almost been a year since that week. I smile when I think of what God has done. It was a small beginning, but I can see the Lord rejoicing, too. I am much closer to my departure, even though it often still seems beyond my grasp. And it is. It’s His idea- and I will wait. I rejoice even when I wonder what I am doing some days. I never doubt, but it doesn’t mean it always makes sense to me. Sometimes I feel lost and wonder how this plan He has is really going to work. I feel alone. Recently I was met with the strongest sense of desperation. I cried out to God; ‘if you don’t show up, I absolutely can’t do this.’ It was a hard day. Yet a blessing and a lesson in humility because I really can’t move forward without His hand on me. And I don’t want to.
I still often feel misunderstood- I get the sense that others find me courageous and brave. A good person. Strong. I promise you it’s not at all true. But I do really love Jesus, and know that He is why I walk this way.
Lord, I pray you may rejoice in the work that has begun. Know my heart. I don’t move forward for any reason or in any way other than You.
Last fall I spent a week in Florida, and in that week solidified a promise I had made to God the previous October. I was welcomed into a broader family who understood God’s heart for the world. In this, I committed in word and on paper I would move to Cambodia; with a (more) clear plan in place as to how this was to happen.
Toward the end of the week, I discovered this verse. Yes, I was in the midst of a small beginning. Nothing was going to move quickly- or as quickly as maybe I would have liked. It was going to be a process; with lots of work to do along the way, lots of conversations to be had, lots of explanations. I wondered at times what the impact of this decision I had made would have- for the near future and beyond that, too. Surely I was going to be misunderstood. I was going to feel alone. I was going to be judged. I was going to look like something I am not. I was probably going to hurt people. It was scary and beyond overwhelming. Yet the joy was like nothing I could ever put into words. I was alive in a way I never wanted to lose.
I sought to know the heart of God, and I recognized my decision was ultimately His for me. No matter what happened along the way, what mattered if I were just to follow Him and do what He told me to do? So I took another step in faith- the same faith which has moved me this much closer to where I am today.
It has almost been a year since that week. I smile when I think of what God has done. It was a small beginning, but I can see the Lord rejoicing, too. I am much closer to my departure, even though it often still seems beyond my grasp. And it is. It’s His idea- and I will wait. I rejoice even when I wonder what I am doing some days. I never doubt, but it doesn’t mean it always makes sense to me. Sometimes I feel lost and wonder how this plan He has is really going to work. I feel alone. Recently I was met with the strongest sense of desperation. I cried out to God; ‘if you don’t show up, I absolutely can’t do this.’ It was a hard day. Yet a blessing and a lesson in humility because I really can’t move forward without His hand on me. And I don’t want to.
I still often feel misunderstood- I get the sense that others find me courageous and brave. A good person. Strong. I promise you it’s not at all true. But I do really love Jesus, and know that He is why I walk this way.
Lord, I pray you may rejoice in the work that has begun. Know my heart. I don’t move forward for any reason or in any way other than You.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
shake me to life
for (these) I am passionate
not what (foolishness) I get lost in
here.
so take me out of here
physically
mentally
spiritually
take me to where You are
give me your heart
break mine down for those same things
allow me to hurt in the ways you hurt
and see the world as you see it
take away my cynicism and doubt
my need to appear strong
the distance I keep myself away
the safety I’d easily fall into
I want to take the risks
that you say are worth it
in order that I might
love myself tired
spend myself empty
give myself away
because you said you came to give life
and I don’t want any other ‘life’
than the one you offer
so
shake me until I’m awake
shout until I pay attention
break my heart until the hardness has fallen away
then
rescue the beautiful pieces
and put me back together
so that I may go on.
“I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”
John 10:10
not what (foolishness) I get lost in
here.
so take me out of here
physically
mentally
spiritually
take me to where You are
give me your heart
break mine down for those same things
allow me to hurt in the ways you hurt
and see the world as you see it
take away my cynicism and doubt
my need to appear strong
the distance I keep myself away
the safety I’d easily fall into
I want to take the risks
that you say are worth it
in order that I might
love myself tired
spend myself empty
give myself away
because you said you came to give life
and I don’t want any other ‘life’
than the one you offer
so
shake me until I’m awake
shout until I pay attention
break my heart until the hardness has fallen away
then
rescue the beautiful pieces
and put me back together
so that I may go on.
“I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”
John 10:10
Thursday, August 20, 2009
prayer for today
I re-read this prayer yesterday and it came alive.
may God bless you with a restless discomfort about easy answers, half-truths and superficial relationships, so that you may seek truth boldly and love deeply from the heart.
may God bless you with a holy anger at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people, so that you may find strength to work for justice, freedom, and peace.
may God bless you with the gift of tears to shed with those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation, or the loss of all that they cherish, so that you may reach out your hand to help comfort them.
may God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you really can make a difference in this world, so that you are able, with God's grace,do to what others claim cannot be done.
and the blessing of God be with you and remain with you. Amen
~prayer based on a Franciscan blessing, and orginally posted by my friend pip. I loved it then, but felt like it needed to show up on my blog today as well.
thanks girl...
may God bless you with a restless discomfort about easy answers, half-truths and superficial relationships, so that you may seek truth boldly and love deeply from the heart.
may God bless you with a holy anger at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people, so that you may find strength to work for justice, freedom, and peace.
may God bless you with the gift of tears to shed with those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation, or the loss of all that they cherish, so that you may reach out your hand to help comfort them.
may God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you really can make a difference in this world, so that you are able, with God's grace,do to what others claim cannot be done.
and the blessing of God be with you and remain with you. Amen
~prayer based on a Franciscan blessing, and orginally posted by my friend pip. I loved it then, but felt like it needed to show up on my blog today as well.
thanks girl...
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
know
I’d like to sit with you
and drink my coffee today
I’d like to learn something
from meeting you
outside the boundaries
to learn because it’s personal
because today I’m not interested
in proper
what is it like to be told a truth
and then be forced to live it
to see the sunshine
and not feel it on your skin
to hope and dream
exhausted
to lose little pieces of yourself
emerging different
embracing uncertainty in each day
because you don’t know
you don't
have an option
trusting strangers
becoming a story
an open book
even if you didn’t want to
details written in codes and acronyms
do you know?
does it make you less of a person?
and drink my coffee today
I’d like to learn something
from meeting you
outside the boundaries
to learn because it’s personal
because today I’m not interested
in proper
what is it like to be told a truth
and then be forced to live it
to see the sunshine
and not feel it on your skin
to hope and dream
exhausted
to lose little pieces of yourself
emerging different
embracing uncertainty in each day
because you don’t know
you don't
have an option
trusting strangers
becoming a story
an open book
even if you didn’t want to
details written in codes and acronyms
do you know?
does it make you less of a person?
Monday, July 13, 2009
confessions on the sabbath
I am currently taking an Old Testament Survey class online. I was convicted recently as I listened to a lecture on the Ten Commandments and the professor spoke about remembering the Sabbath. I have recently felt way too busy and overwhelmed. A few friends suggested I take a day or two to do nothing. Relax. Rest. Pray. Read. Whatever. Just don’t work. It sounded great-- but I never made it happen. Why is a day of rest so hard? It’s not that I think that I am so important that something is going to fall apart without me. I just feel like there is always more work to do- and so it’s hard for me to stop until the work is done. Yeah, I know how silly that is. There will ALWAYS be more work to do. So I had to smile when I listened to the “Keep holy the Sabbath” part of the lecture. Seriously God? I get it.
This is one commandment I will admit I have never taken seriously. Why not? I don’t know. I used to think of the Sabbath as going to church. I’m not sure why. I love going to church, but I know that my presence at church on Sunday nights hardly equals keeping the Sabbath holy. But I want to start taking this commandment seriously. I want to change my habits and traditions one day every week. Because not only is it good, it was God’s idea. And not just an idea, or a suggestion- but a command. He knows my life. He knows what kind of crazy distracted world I live in. Just another reason I must rest. Thanks for the lesson. :)
This is one commandment I will admit I have never taken seriously. Why not? I don’t know. I used to think of the Sabbath as going to church. I’m not sure why. I love going to church, but I know that my presence at church on Sunday nights hardly equals keeping the Sabbath holy. But I want to start taking this commandment seriously. I want to change my habits and traditions one day every week. Because not only is it good, it was God’s idea. And not just an idea, or a suggestion- but a command. He knows my life. He knows what kind of crazy distracted world I live in. Just another reason I must rest. Thanks for the lesson. :)
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
life in pictures
In looking through my friends’ photo blogs, I have admired the way they simply but beautifully tell the stories of their lives. Minimal words, mostly pictures. Simple; but raw, genuine, and real. Vulnerable at times. Funny and lighthearted in others. Overall, I just love the way that a photo a day tells the story of life. I’m starting the project. I'm taking a picture every day for a year. I want to be intentional in my vision. I want to embrace moments and live aware of even the simple things. I am not going to go out of my way to take pictures of special or exotic things- I only want to document the things of my normal day-to-day life. I named it life in pictures on my links.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
just willing
In my Perspectives class, I read an article called Just Willing by a man named Casey Morgan. He writes about a two day seminar he and his wife attended in which God opened their eyes for the first time to His love for all nations and all peoples. He talked about how he and his wife discovered for the first time the biblical foundation for cross-cultural missions. God changed their perspective, and their lives were never the same because of it. They decided to sell their house in Texas and move to the “concrete jungle” of East Asia with their three small children.
He reflects on one day at the seminar when someone came up to him, looked him in the eye, and questioned:
“What part of your life reflects God’s desire to be known among every people group on the planet?”
He continues on:
“As far as we could tell, none.
There was no way we could ignore the new information. How could we walk away and continue on as we had been? We faced some major decisions. Our perspective on the world had changed. It was clear that the way we lived- even where we lived- was going to have to change, too.
...to be honest, the prospect of going somewhere halfway around the world was pretty scary. We tried to convince ourselves that because people right where we lived needed Jesus, maybe we ought to just stay put. Still, as we sifted through what God had brought to our attention, it became evident that the most impact we could have would be among those furthest removed from the gospel. So we decided to go. That’s when everyone thought we’d changed.
People around us would often say, “Wow, you guys have such a clear calling to serve overseas. I don’t think I could ever do that.” My wife and I didn’t know what to say. We felt like we were just like them. Why were we so different all of a sudden? Others would comment on how committed we must be. They applauded our self sacrifice and lifted us up as spiritual giants of sorts...
Recently, I’ve been able to put my finger on what separates us from the countless others back home. Willingness.
We never had a special calling to “go.” We’re not any more spiritual than you or the person sitting next to you in church. We’re just willing. That’s all.
If you’re content to stay without ever asking yourself, “what’s keeping me from going to the widest end of the gap?” you may end up wondering of the lack of risk was worth it. If it’s a missionary call you’re waiting for, here it is: Come, follow us.”
I loved this article because he put so many of my thoughts and feelings into words. I read it and thought, “Yes. This is it.” This thing- willingness, is simple and profound at the same time. I share with the author a knowledge that I don’t offer anything special or extraordinary. I believe that as He called his disciples, Jesus continues to call ordinary people. I am not extra holy, heroic, or any more put together than anyone else. In fact, I believe that He seeks to use me in the midst of all of my faults and weaknesses. I have a lot! Yet, when they are always before me, I remember that I can’t do any of this journey on my own. I am reminded every day.
I am just me. But God spoke of this love He has for the nations to me, too. I too have been left changed and made more aware. And I told God yes. I am willing.
He reflects on one day at the seminar when someone came up to him, looked him in the eye, and questioned:
“What part of your life reflects God’s desire to be known among every people group on the planet?”
He continues on:
“As far as we could tell, none.
There was no way we could ignore the new information. How could we walk away and continue on as we had been? We faced some major decisions. Our perspective on the world had changed. It was clear that the way we lived- even where we lived- was going to have to change, too.
...to be honest, the prospect of going somewhere halfway around the world was pretty scary. We tried to convince ourselves that because people right where we lived needed Jesus, maybe we ought to just stay put. Still, as we sifted through what God had brought to our attention, it became evident that the most impact we could have would be among those furthest removed from the gospel. So we decided to go. That’s when everyone thought we’d changed.
People around us would often say, “Wow, you guys have such a clear calling to serve overseas. I don’t think I could ever do that.” My wife and I didn’t know what to say. We felt like we were just like them. Why were we so different all of a sudden? Others would comment on how committed we must be. They applauded our self sacrifice and lifted us up as spiritual giants of sorts...
Recently, I’ve been able to put my finger on what separates us from the countless others back home. Willingness.
We never had a special calling to “go.” We’re not any more spiritual than you or the person sitting next to you in church. We’re just willing. That’s all.
If you’re content to stay without ever asking yourself, “what’s keeping me from going to the widest end of the gap?” you may end up wondering of the lack of risk was worth it. If it’s a missionary call you’re waiting for, here it is: Come, follow us.”
I loved this article because he put so many of my thoughts and feelings into words. I read it and thought, “Yes. This is it.” This thing- willingness, is simple and profound at the same time. I share with the author a knowledge that I don’t offer anything special or extraordinary. I believe that as He called his disciples, Jesus continues to call ordinary people. I am not extra holy, heroic, or any more put together than anyone else. In fact, I believe that He seeks to use me in the midst of all of my faults and weaknesses. I have a lot! Yet, when they are always before me, I remember that I can’t do any of this journey on my own. I am reminded every day.
I am just me. But God spoke of this love He has for the nations to me, too. I too have been left changed and made more aware. And I told God yes. I am willing.
Friday, June 26, 2009
awake
A friend commented recently that she thinks only a small percentage of people are living life awake. This may be on purpose or not. But I think it's true. I've been thinking about it ever since.
My patient tonight was sleepy when I opened the door to her room. I talked softly; telling her what I was going to do. She moved slightly as I uncovered her a little. When I was finished recording her vital signs and drawing some labs, I lifted her arm and covered her up again with the heavy white blankets. As I did, she stirred again; the kind of stirring where I realized she had completely drifted back to sleep in the few minutes it took me to complete my simple tasks. After being covered, I could see she was comfortable again. Wasn't about to wake up. Sound asleep. No longer knew I was standing there. I turned off the lights and closed the door.
And I thought again about this idea of living awake. Even when things are going on all around us, as they were for my patient- it doesn't necessarily mean we wake up. Or want to wake up. It's so much easier to sleep, to numb away the hard things, let the uncomfortable things pass by without dealing with them. Or even being aware of them. We get good at this- the act of forgetting, not noticing, proceeding forward, absent in some way. We don't mind being naive or apathetic. Sometimes, when too many things threaten to take over, I think about how I wish I could just go to sleep until it's over.
But I want to appreciate living awake. I want to be intentionally present in all the details. Even if it's painful. Or uncomfortable without heavy blankets to hide under. I don't want to be numb or absent from any part of my life.
My patient tonight was sleepy when I opened the door to her room. I talked softly; telling her what I was going to do. She moved slightly as I uncovered her a little. When I was finished recording her vital signs and drawing some labs, I lifted her arm and covered her up again with the heavy white blankets. As I did, she stirred again; the kind of stirring where I realized she had completely drifted back to sleep in the few minutes it took me to complete my simple tasks. After being covered, I could see she was comfortable again. Wasn't about to wake up. Sound asleep. No longer knew I was standing there. I turned off the lights and closed the door.
And I thought again about this idea of living awake. Even when things are going on all around us, as they were for my patient- it doesn't necessarily mean we wake up. Or want to wake up. It's so much easier to sleep, to numb away the hard things, let the uncomfortable things pass by without dealing with them. Or even being aware of them. We get good at this- the act of forgetting, not noticing, proceeding forward, absent in some way. We don't mind being naive or apathetic. Sometimes, when too many things threaten to take over, I think about how I wish I could just go to sleep until it's over.
But I want to appreciate living awake. I want to be intentionally present in all the details. Even if it's painful. Or uncomfortable without heavy blankets to hide under. I don't want to be numb or absent from any part of my life.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
drops of joy
It started with a gray sky. Then a few drops of rain fell. Then more, and more, until we found ourselves in the midst of a complete downpour. At first, it seemed like any other rainy afternoon in Cambodia during the rainy season. One minute it was sunny with a few clouds, the next minute the rain poured down. But this particular day was different. The rain hit my face. It soaked my shoulders. My dry hair was drenched, and it came down, harder, and harder... and harder. It poured down the front of my shirt, and as we rode home on the back of the little moped, I started to laugh. The rain tickled my skin, my ears, my face. I was completely saturated, and it just kept coming. And I laughed harder. I couldn’t stop laughing, until the tears ran from my eyes, mixing with the raindrops which already covered my face. I remember not even being sure of what it was that caused me to laugh until I cried. It was like the absurdity of the whole thing overtook me until I couldn’t control my emotions. I was living in a hard place, and the frequent rain was just one more thing. Yet on that day the rain and gray skies weren’t discouraging- although the rest of my week might have been. I remember God showing up in those ten minutes, reminding me that in the midst of it all, I was living- and living fully engaged and alive. It was a tangible reminder about beauty and hope in the mundane, wet, dirty, and messy pieces of life.
I have been swimming in my thoughts lately. Feeling discouraged sometimes too. Wondering what God is doing in me, and how He will choose to use my messy and imperfect life. Today I sat for awhile at Mt. Tabor park, under the tall trees and gray of the Portland sky. Then rain started to fall. Only a few drops at first; but soon it was another downpour. My clothes were stuck to my skin, my hair was dripping, and in the warm air I was reminded of that day in Cambodia. I smiled as I was reminded again of the deep joy and hope which lie in the midst of the gray and wet.
I have been swimming in my thoughts lately. Feeling discouraged sometimes too. Wondering what God is doing in me, and how He will choose to use my messy and imperfect life. Today I sat for awhile at Mt. Tabor park, under the tall trees and gray of the Portland sky. Then rain started to fall. Only a few drops at first; but soon it was another downpour. My clothes were stuck to my skin, my hair was dripping, and in the warm air I was reminded of that day in Cambodia. I smiled as I was reminded again of the deep joy and hope which lie in the midst of the gray and wet.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
on the way
i am just another traveler
in this little piece of time
i’m a drifter, i’m a seeker
waking to this thing called life
and i struggle like a baby for each little step i take
learning how to walk on the way
i am losing the familiar i’m not sure of anything
every new day it’s a new world that’s quick to steal my dreams
but the path of resistance
wasn’t meant for me to take
i’m learning who i am on the way
still i fall and you reach
i am foolish, so you teach
i wander but you stay
by my side on the way
this was not what i expected it’s not everything i planned
but there’s beauty in this mystery
i don’t have to understand
but i just have to keep on moving
not with vision but with faith
i’m learning how to see on the way
still i fall and you reach
i am foolish, so you teach
i wander but you stay
by my side on the way
so i feel these blessed burdens
and these weights upon my feet
no one said it would be easy
or that i’d ever find my peace
but i’m moving with assurance
through these fears and sweet mistakes
i’m learning how to live on the way
on the way,
elizabeth hunnicutt
in this little piece of time
i’m a drifter, i’m a seeker
waking to this thing called life
and i struggle like a baby for each little step i take
learning how to walk on the way
i am losing the familiar i’m not sure of anything
every new day it’s a new world that’s quick to steal my dreams
but the path of resistance
wasn’t meant for me to take
i’m learning who i am on the way
still i fall and you reach
i am foolish, so you teach
i wander but you stay
by my side on the way
this was not what i expected it’s not everything i planned
but there’s beauty in this mystery
i don’t have to understand
but i just have to keep on moving
not with vision but with faith
i’m learning how to see on the way
still i fall and you reach
i am foolish, so you teach
i wander but you stay
by my side on the way
so i feel these blessed burdens
and these weights upon my feet
no one said it would be easy
or that i’d ever find my peace
but i’m moving with assurance
through these fears and sweet mistakes
i’m learning how to live on the way
on the way,
elizabeth hunnicutt
Thursday, June 4, 2009
because justice matters
love BECAUSE darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. and all of life is interrelated because all men are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. whatever affects one directly affects all indirectly. I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be, and you can never be what you ought to be until I am what I ought to be. Martin Luther King Jr. therefore, you shalt not be a victim. you shalt not be a perpetrator. above all, you shalt not be a bystander. Yehuda Bauer. the trouble is that once you see it, you can’t unsee it. and once you’ve seen it, keeping quiet, saying nothing, becomes as political an act as speaking out. either way, you’re accountable. Arundhati Roy. so listen because JUSTICE is conscience, not a personal conscience but the conscience of all of humanity. those who clearly recognize the voice of their own conscience usually recognize also the voice of justice. Alexander Solzhenitsyn. act in love knowing that in this life we cannot do great things. we can only do small things with great love. but it is not the magnitude of our actions but the amount of love that is put into them that MATTERS. Mother Teresa. and in the end justice will rise up and hope and history will rhyme. Seamus Heaney.
(thanks Juice!)
(thanks Juice!)
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Adventure of the Seas
We met in Puerto Rico last Sunday; my mom, sisi, and me
To board a ship and sail the Caribbean Sea
They took silly pictures before we even boarded the ship
And hand delivered our suitcases, almost too full to be zipped
We ran around to explore floors one through fourteen
Everything was so beautiful, glistening, and clean
The water refilled, three forks, fine wine...
We gathered each night in Vivaldi to dine
Ten at our table; four of them Brits
Stories and conversation was always a hit
Two desserts, the coffee, champagne as a treat
White linens, some singing, and new friends to meet
Lashana’s lovely bread and Derya’s smile
Made all at our table want to stay for awhile
The menu divine, the food always hot
I’d order two entrees, and hear Derya’s sweet “Why not?”
We stayed up late dancing outside under stars
Oriana received a free drink from the bar
In the middle of the ocean we climbed a rock wall
Went swimming, ice skating, and tried not to fall
Clear teal water and Aruba’s white sand
We left the island with a coconut in hand
The locals in Dominica were funny and kind
We floated the river and the boys didn’t mind
Curacao was beautiful, but we didn’t stay cool
So we boarded the ship and jumped in the pool
St. Thomas was sailing and endless rum punch
With the sun, waves, and dancing we made a lively bunch
On the ship was a line, and to the photographers dismay
We’d stick out our tongues and get pictures our way
Towels turned animals, crisp sheets, a clean floor
The room was transformed when Carl came through the door
The crew was amazing; working all day and night
Doing everything they could to make our vacation just right
Would you rather be an egg or a bee?
Or joke about awkward arms in the bag or the pets at sea?
I won’t soon forget this past week in May
I hope the Caribbean calls us back again one day!
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Lord, I believe in you; help me to believe more firmly.
I trust in you; help me to trust more surely.
I love you; help me to love more ardently.
I am sorry for my sins; help me to deepen my sorrow.
Guide me by your wisdom, correct me by your justice.
Comfort me by your mercy, defend me with your power.
Lord, I offer you,
my thoughts to be centered on you, my words to speak of you,
my actions to do your will, my sufferings for your sake.
I want whatever you want;
Because you want it,
The way you want it,
As long as you want it.
Lord, enlighten my mind, strengthen my will,
purify my heart, and sanctify my spirit.
Lord, in your goodness, grant me the grace to love you
and to forget myself, to seek my neighbor's good
and despise the seduction of the world.
Teach me to obey those in authority, serve those under my care,
look after my friends, and forgive my enemies.
Teach me;
How trivial wordly interests are
How momentous is the Kingdom
How brief temporal concerns are
How lasting is life eternal!
Excerpts from the prayer of of Pope Clement XI
I trust in you; help me to trust more surely.
I love you; help me to love more ardently.
I am sorry for my sins; help me to deepen my sorrow.
Guide me by your wisdom, correct me by your justice.
Comfort me by your mercy, defend me with your power.
Lord, I offer you,
my thoughts to be centered on you, my words to speak of you,
my actions to do your will, my sufferings for your sake.
I want whatever you want;
Because you want it,
The way you want it,
As long as you want it.
Lord, enlighten my mind, strengthen my will,
purify my heart, and sanctify my spirit.
Lord, in your goodness, grant me the grace to love you
and to forget myself, to seek my neighbor's good
and despise the seduction of the world.
Teach me to obey those in authority, serve those under my care,
look after my friends, and forgive my enemies.
Teach me;
How trivial wordly interests are
How momentous is the Kingdom
How brief temporal concerns are
How lasting is life eternal!
Excerpts from the prayer of of Pope Clement XI
Friday, April 24, 2009
42.2km
My dear friend Pip and I have been training for the Canberra Marathon these past few months. Ever since we finished our first one last June, we have been hooked on this crazy running adventure- which is exhausting, exhilarating, and everything in between. Once again, during this race I wondered why exactly I do this-- but yet again, it was a fleeting thought which disappeared after a few minutes, and was gone completely after I crossed the line.
I didn't run as fast as I had wanted to- but I was filled with joy in the process of running this race. It was so much fun! Feeling the breeze. Energized by the crowd. Refreshed by water and cool sponges. Ready to fall over in fatigue. But just as ready to keep running and cross the line. What a blast! And now, just another reason to keep going...
I didn't run as fast as I had wanted to- but I was filled with joy in the process of running this race. It was so much fun! Feeling the breeze. Energized by the crowd. Refreshed by water and cool sponges. Ready to fall over in fatigue. But just as ready to keep running and cross the line. What a blast! And now, just another reason to keep going...
Thursday, April 23, 2009
New Life
I was baptized as a baby, in the tradition of my church. After seventh grade, I gave my life completely to Jesus, but at that time I didn’t think about being baptized again.
Yet after following Christ for some time now, I felt that it was important for me to be baptized- as His daughter who fully believes and understands the decision. To declare openly my love for Jesus and my desire and intent to follow Him for the rest of my life. Because I want to be obedient to what Jesus tells His followers to do. Because I recognize my desperate need for the Holy Spirit to do dangerous and impossible things. Because I turn from sin and believe that Jesus is stronger than the strongest evils of this life.
”We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life. If we have been united with him like this in his death, we will certainly also be united with him in his resurrection. For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin—” Romans 6:4-6
“Peter said, "Change your life. Turn to God and be baptized, each of you, in the name of Jesus Christ, so your sins are forgiven. Receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.” Acts 2:38
Thank you Pip and Rosie, for praying for and with me- immersing me in water, and blessing me by your presence. Praise God for his gift, too wonderful for words. I am blessed to know I don’t walk this Way alone.
Byron Bay, Australia
April 14, 2009
"Anyone who belongs to Christ is a new person. The past is forgotten, and everything is new." 2 Corinthians 5:17
Yet after following Christ for some time now, I felt that it was important for me to be baptized- as His daughter who fully believes and understands the decision. To declare openly my love for Jesus and my desire and intent to follow Him for the rest of my life. Because I want to be obedient to what Jesus tells His followers to do. Because I recognize my desperate need for the Holy Spirit to do dangerous and impossible things. Because I turn from sin and believe that Jesus is stronger than the strongest evils of this life.
”We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life. If we have been united with him like this in his death, we will certainly also be united with him in his resurrection. For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin—” Romans 6:4-6
“Peter said, "Change your life. Turn to God and be baptized, each of you, in the name of Jesus Christ, so your sins are forgiven. Receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.” Acts 2:38
Thank you Pip and Rosie, for praying for and with me- immersing me in water, and blessing me by your presence. Praise God for his gift, too wonderful for words. I am blessed to know I don’t walk this Way alone.
Byron Bay, Australia
April 14, 2009
"Anyone who belongs to Christ is a new person. The past is forgotten, and everything is new." 2 Corinthians 5:17
Monday, April 20, 2009
April!
what a great month!
birthday, baptism, best race times...
April 5- Race for the Roses in Portland- pb half marathon time
April 8- celebrated from midnight on- complete with Annie's lemon meringue pie at 2am ;)
April 14- got baptized at the ocean in Australia
April 19- pb time for marathon #2 in Canberra
more details soon!
birthday, baptism, best race times...
April 5- Race for the Roses in Portland- pb half marathon time
April 8- celebrated from midnight on- complete with Annie's lemon meringue pie at 2am ;)
April 14- got baptized at the ocean in Australia
April 19- pb time for marathon #2 in Canberra
more details soon!
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Monday, March 23, 2009
no regrets
About a week ago I had a patient whose situation rocked me. For some reason I could easily put myself in his place. The whole night I kept thinking: If my life and his were switched, would I have regrets? I pondered this all night, and into the week.
I decided no, I wouldn’t have any regrets. Yet it was still something I needed to think about. And I never want to get out of that place of being aware. Sensitive to people. Being grateful in the day to day. Noticing the little things. Celebrating my health. Rejoicing in being alive. Only the Lord knows when things may change.
Sometimes I feel calloused in my job- or because of it. I think it is natural, but I don’t want to be hardened to the things that matter. Life is short. I want mine to count.
“Lord, remind me how brief my time on earth will be.
Remind me that my days are numbered— how fleeting my life is. You have made my life no longer than the width of my hand. My entire lifetime is just a moment to you; at best, each of us is but a breath. We are merely moving shadows, and all our busy rushing ends in nothing. We heap up wealth, not knowing who will spend it. And so, Lord, where do I put my hope? My only hope is in you. Rescue me from my rebellion.”
Psalm 39:4-8
I decided no, I wouldn’t have any regrets. Yet it was still something I needed to think about. And I never want to get out of that place of being aware. Sensitive to people. Being grateful in the day to day. Noticing the little things. Celebrating my health. Rejoicing in being alive. Only the Lord knows when things may change.
Sometimes I feel calloused in my job- or because of it. I think it is natural, but I don’t want to be hardened to the things that matter. Life is short. I want mine to count.
“Lord, remind me how brief my time on earth will be.
Remind me that my days are numbered— how fleeting my life is. You have made my life no longer than the width of my hand. My entire lifetime is just a moment to you; at best, each of us is but a breath. We are merely moving shadows, and all our busy rushing ends in nothing. We heap up wealth, not knowing who will spend it. And so, Lord, where do I put my hope? My only hope is in you. Rescue me from my rebellion.”
Psalm 39:4-8
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
92 bananas
Our presenter at class tonight was awesome. She left us with a slideshow of quotes by people who have changed the world for Christ. They were missionaries. I haven't totally embraced the word for myself yet; but these words and their stories were enough to bring tears to my eyes.
"If this is war," the message said, "A woman is not likely to stop it."
Back went her reply,
"You think only of the woman.
You have forgotten the woman's God."
Mary Slessor, Nigeria, 1874-1915
"I wasn't God's first choice for what I've done in China...
it must have been a man.
Perhaps he died. Perhaps he wasn't willing...
and God looked down and saw Gladys Aylward...
and God said, "Well, at least she's willing!"
Gladys Aylward, China, 1902-1970
"I can assure you that months and months
of heart-rending anguish are before you...
Yet, take the bitter cup with both hands.
You will learn a secret; that there is sweetness at the bottom."
Adoniram Judson, Burma, 1788-1826
"If this is war," the message said, "A woman is not likely to stop it."
Back went her reply,
"You think only of the woman.
You have forgotten the woman's God."
Mary Slessor, Nigeria, 1874-1915
"I wasn't God's first choice for what I've done in China...
it must have been a man.
Perhaps he died. Perhaps he wasn't willing...
and God looked down and saw Gladys Aylward...
and God said, "Well, at least she's willing!"
Gladys Aylward, China, 1902-1970
"I can assure you that months and months
of heart-rending anguish are before you...
Yet, take the bitter cup with both hands.
You will learn a secret; that there is sweetness at the bottom."
Adoniram Judson, Burma, 1788-1826
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Friday, February 13, 2009
The words of Floyd McClung met me today, as I read his article, Apostolic Passion:
"A young man in Bible school offered to help David Wilkerson years ago when he was ministering on the streets of New York City. Wilkerson asked him how much time he spent in prayer. The young student estimated about 20 minutes a day. Wilkerson told him, "Go back, young man. Go back for a month and pray two hours a day, every day for 30 days. When you've done that, come back. Come back, and I might consider turning you loose on the streets where there is murder, rape, violence and danger. If I sent you out now on 20 minutes a day, I'd be sending a soldier into battle without any weapons, and you would get killed."
"A young man in Bible school offered to help David Wilkerson years ago when he was ministering on the streets of New York City. Wilkerson asked him how much time he spent in prayer. The young student estimated about 20 minutes a day. Wilkerson told him, "Go back, young man. Go back for a month and pray two hours a day, every day for 30 days. When you've done that, come back. Come back, and I might consider turning you loose on the streets where there is murder, rape, violence and danger. If I sent you out now on 20 minutes a day, I'd be sending a soldier into battle without any weapons, and you would get killed."
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Glory despite the stench
In John 11, Mary and Martha ask Jesus to come and heal their brother Lazarus. Jesus comes two days later, and Lazarus has already died.
“When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, "Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died." When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. "Where have you laid him?" he asked. "Come and see, Lord," they replied.
Jesus wept. Then the Jews said, "See how he loved him!" But some of them said, "Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man have kept this man from dying?" Jesus, once more deeply moved, came to the tomb. It was a cave with a stone laid across the entrance. "Take away the stone," he said. "But, Lord," said Martha, the sister of the dead man, "by this time there is a bad odor, for he has been there four days." Then Jesus said, "Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?" So they took away the stone. Then Jesus looked up and said, "Father, I thank you that you have heard me. I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me." When he had said this, Jesus called in a loud voice, "Lazarus, come out!" The dead man came out, his hands and feet wrapped with strips of linen, and a cloth around his face. Jesus said to them, "Take off the grave clothes and let him go." John 11:32-44
I love this story. Jesus knows human nature; that those around Lazarus are mourning his death, and wondering why Jesus didn't do something. And the stink of the dead after four days...
But He asks; "Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?"
It’s awesome.
It’s easy to doubt and despair in the stench of life. Evil, human need, and injustice have a paralyzing effect- a smell that it’s easier to turn from than embrace. Father, remind me that as You chose to embrace and become engaged in our world with it’s awful stench, you invite me to do the same. I fully believe that the glory of God is stronger than the worst smells on earth.
“When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, "Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died." When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. "Where have you laid him?" he asked. "Come and see, Lord," they replied.
Jesus wept. Then the Jews said, "See how he loved him!" But some of them said, "Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man have kept this man from dying?" Jesus, once more deeply moved, came to the tomb. It was a cave with a stone laid across the entrance. "Take away the stone," he said. "But, Lord," said Martha, the sister of the dead man, "by this time there is a bad odor, for he has been there four days." Then Jesus said, "Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?" So they took away the stone. Then Jesus looked up and said, "Father, I thank you that you have heard me. I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me." When he had said this, Jesus called in a loud voice, "Lazarus, come out!" The dead man came out, his hands and feet wrapped with strips of linen, and a cloth around his face. Jesus said to them, "Take off the grave clothes and let him go." John 11:32-44
I love this story. Jesus knows human nature; that those around Lazarus are mourning his death, and wondering why Jesus didn't do something. And the stink of the dead after four days...
But He asks; "Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?"
It’s awesome.
It’s easy to doubt and despair in the stench of life. Evil, human need, and injustice have a paralyzing effect- a smell that it’s easier to turn from than embrace. Father, remind me that as You chose to embrace and become engaged in our world with it’s awful stench, you invite me to do the same. I fully believe that the glory of God is stronger than the worst smells on earth.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
i love my family!
We don't all get together much.... but we always have time to take a few pictures, much to my dad's dismay.
He loves us, though ;)
Sunday, January 25, 2009
January 20, 2009!
LOVED the cover of the Oregonian the other day. Thought it should be commemorated on my blog...
Monday, January 19, 2009
MLK
"The first question which the priest and the Levite asked was: "If I stop to help this man, what will happen to me?" But... the good Samaritan reversed the question: "If I do not stop to help this man, what will happen to him?"
“Cowardice asks the question, 'Is it safe?' Expediency asks the question, 'Is it politic?' But conscience asks the question, 'Is it right?' And there comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular but because conscience tells one it is right.”
"I decided early to give my life to something eternal and absolute. Not to these little gods that are here today and gone tomorrow, but to God who is the same yesterday, today, and forever."
Martin Luther King, Jr 1929–1968
“Cowardice asks the question, 'Is it safe?' Expediency asks the question, 'Is it politic?' But conscience asks the question, 'Is it right?' And there comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular but because conscience tells one it is right.”
"I decided early to give my life to something eternal and absolute. Not to these little gods that are here today and gone tomorrow, but to God who is the same yesterday, today, and forever."
Martin Luther King, Jr 1929–1968
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
safe or brave?
I recently finished a book by Gary Haugen, founder of International Justice Mission. I have since been contemplating one of the questions he proposes. Would you rather be safe or brave? In following God, can we be both? What are we supposed to do when following the will of God is scary?
He mentions a colleague who recalls his journey to give up his career as a lawyer and life in the United States to move to the Philippines and work for justice. The things that held him back were the losses of comfort, security, control, and success. Yet these were the things he was forced to let go of in order to receive the life that Jesus promised. As he did, he said he instead received adventure, faith, miracles, and a deep knowledge of Jesus.
The author says, “Jesus knows I must make a choice for myself. He is inviting all of us on his great, costly expedition of transformation in the world- but we must respond. Are we coming or staying? Jesus is relentlessly issuing the invitation and forcing a choice to action. What are we going to DO? I am much more interested in telling Jesus and others what I BELIEVE, but Jesus (and the watching world) knows that what I truly believe will be manifested in what I choose to DO.”
Today I have been doing much thinking about this question of being safe or brave. It’s easy for me to say I want to be brave. But if that means giving up being safe, that is scary. What does it mean to give up safety? I don’t know if I want to really know that at this point. But day by day, I do choose to trust God. And for me, this is bigger than my fear of being “unsafe.”
As his colleague recognized the things like comfort, security, and control that he would probably lose, I am reminded that I have also known these things well (maybe too well). I like them. They make me comfortable. Sometimes I get upset when I don't have them. But may I be reminded again and again that I would rather have the life that Jesus promises even if it means I lose what I perceive to be "comfort" or "security."
As Jesus tells the young ruler in Matthew, “Come, follow me.”
Lord make me BRAVE because I want to follow You.
He mentions a colleague who recalls his journey to give up his career as a lawyer and life in the United States to move to the Philippines and work for justice. The things that held him back were the losses of comfort, security, control, and success. Yet these were the things he was forced to let go of in order to receive the life that Jesus promised. As he did, he said he instead received adventure, faith, miracles, and a deep knowledge of Jesus.
The author says, “Jesus knows I must make a choice for myself. He is inviting all of us on his great, costly expedition of transformation in the world- but we must respond. Are we coming or staying? Jesus is relentlessly issuing the invitation and forcing a choice to action. What are we going to DO? I am much more interested in telling Jesus and others what I BELIEVE, but Jesus (and the watching world) knows that what I truly believe will be manifested in what I choose to DO.”
Today I have been doing much thinking about this question of being safe or brave. It’s easy for me to say I want to be brave. But if that means giving up being safe, that is scary. What does it mean to give up safety? I don’t know if I want to really know that at this point. But day by day, I do choose to trust God. And for me, this is bigger than my fear of being “unsafe.”
As his colleague recognized the things like comfort, security, and control that he would probably lose, I am reminded that I have also known these things well (maybe too well). I like them. They make me comfortable. Sometimes I get upset when I don't have them. But may I be reminded again and again that I would rather have the life that Jesus promises even if it means I lose what I perceive to be "comfort" or "security."
As Jesus tells the young ruler in Matthew, “Come, follow me.”
Lord make me BRAVE because I want to follow You.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
inspiration to run
I came across this song as I ran this morning.
My new song to ponder...
I have been pondering, but have failed to blog. I'm working on it.
Run
Stoplights, breakdown, we cry, last try
Worlds collide, time to decide
Where you want to go in this great big world
Where you want to go in this great big world
Stuck here too long in this sad song
Lost on a street, everyone has
Vanished and you're all alone
But you don't know where to go
You're all alone
And you want to go home
Run just as fast as you can
Run, 'til you reach the end
Where the fallen finally land
And your world starts over again
Run
Next page, new day, finding my way
Stumble upon the strength to move on
I am not alone in this great big world
And you are not alone in this great big world
Run just as fast as you can
Run, 'til you reach the end
Where the fallen finally land
And your world starts over again
Run
Run now don't you look back
Run towards the light straight ahead
Where the lost souls make a beautiful sound
And new life is finally found
Run
Music and lyrics by Travis Lawerence, Jenny Simmons, and Clint Lagerberg of Addison Road
My new song to ponder...
I have been pondering, but have failed to blog. I'm working on it.
Run
Stoplights, breakdown, we cry, last try
Worlds collide, time to decide
Where you want to go in this great big world
Where you want to go in this great big world
Stuck here too long in this sad song
Lost on a street, everyone has
Vanished and you're all alone
But you don't know where to go
You're all alone
And you want to go home
Run just as fast as you can
Run, 'til you reach the end
Where the fallen finally land
And your world starts over again
Run
Next page, new day, finding my way
Stumble upon the strength to move on
I am not alone in this great big world
And you are not alone in this great big world
Run just as fast as you can
Run, 'til you reach the end
Where the fallen finally land
And your world starts over again
Run
Run now don't you look back
Run towards the light straight ahead
Where the lost souls make a beautiful sound
And new life is finally found
Run
Music and lyrics by Travis Lawerence, Jenny Simmons, and Clint Lagerberg of Addison Road
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
(snow)cover
Sunnyside Environmental Elementary School is a few blocks away. They teach kids about growing all sorts of things in their various garden plots. The kids always make colorful signs to label the things they've planted. I wonder if they ever expected nature would cover their crops... (and their sign!)
Monday, December 22, 2008
snowed in day 2- cross training
I was DETERMINED to work out today, and I didn't want to take the bus to the gym. I can't drive because my car is covered with ice and there are drifts in the streets...so I dug out my snowshoes and boots, found my ski pants and a vest, put on some gloves and my ipod, and went out to explore the streets on foot! I don't think this has been done on Portland streets by many people before. I even caught a cute older woman taking a picture of me when she thought I didn't notice. But although I felt a little silly when I left my house, after traipsing a few blocks, I spotted a woman coming towards me on skis! It was awesome. I wish the news people were out- seriously a woman on skis and another on snowshoes on the same neighborhood street is SO enough to make the news -at least here! I think this is one of the most unusal winters Portland has ever had! And the snow is still coming down...
Sunday, December 21, 2008
snowed in!
The temperature difference between where I lived last December and this December is about 70 degrees....YIKES! Portland is known for mild winters- and NOT for snow- but this winter has been crazy! I am currently stranded in my apartment, and there are SNOW DRIFTS outside my window!! I am skipping my running workout tomorrow to snowshoe at the park instead! I decided this morning after I finished running in this winter wonderland (imagine cold air, fresh tracks on 2 inches of light clean snow, no traffic, and the sun just coming up... ;) that you haven't LIVED until you have experienced winter snow! It is BeAuTiFuL!!
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
tribute to banya
I found out today that yesterday one of my precious little girls went home to be with Jesus. Banya was about 3 years old, and she was HIV+. Ironically, this is not what took her life. I'm sure she was off playing and being her sweet, mischievous self, and she drowned in a nearby pond. She leaves behind her mom, Sitow, who is one of the sweetest women I met while in Cambodia. She also lives with AIDS. She has now lost both of her children as well as her husband. I'm praying for her today; that she would not feel responsible, but know her daughter is being cared for in the BEST way- and that she will herself be cared for by those around her and her loving Father in heaven. I'll miss you, Banya!
Monday, December 1, 2008
advent conspiracy
The following is the vision my church has for Advent Conspiracy, an international movement to refocus our hearts and lives around Jesus during this busy season of the year. I am so excited to be a part of it, and am already thinking of creative ways to give relationally, and intentionally focus on Christ instead of the things this culture tells me are important. I am trying to examine how those who follow Christ can lead the world in taking care of others near and far, and send the message by our actions and lifestyles that truly Christ is our most valuable gift!
Christmas can (still) change the world.
Freedom, restoration. Joy. For everyone. This was God’s agenda 2,000 years ago when he sent his son into our broken world with an outrageous plan to rescue us. This was his gift to humanity.
Today, Americans celebrate this act of revolutionary love by spending 450 billion dollars each Christmas. On December 26, after months of chaos, we may look back and wonder if we somehow missed the point.
The story of Christ’s birth is subversive; it tells of an upside-down kingdom. It’s a story of promise and hope in which the blind see, the lame walk and the least become the greatest. So what if Christmas became a world-changing event again by turning our focus back to the birth of Christ? What if we could trade our celebration of stuff for a celebration of hope and unbelievable memories with family and friends? What if all this could save a life at the same time?
Concepts:
Worship Fully- It starts with Jesus. It ends with Jesus. Christmas is a season where love wins, peace reigns, and a king is celebrated with each breath. Entering the story of advent means entering this season with an overwhelming passion to worship Jesus to the fullest.
Spend Less- We live in a culture that guilts us into overspending. But is buying a loved one the latest gadget really the best way show you care? This Christmas, resist the message that stuff will satisfy and become more available to celebrate Jesus’ birth.
Give More- God didn’t spend a dime when he gave us the greatest gift ever known – the loving presence of his son in our world. So it’s no wonder that we’re drawn to the idea that Christmas should be a time to love our friends, family and people in need. Instead of shopping for excess things, consider writing your mom a letter, taking your kids sledding, serving a homeless family and visibly showing love through relational giving.
Love All- When Jesus loved, He loved in ways never imagined before. He entered our world and gave up everything to bring God’s kingdom to those who were physically and spiritually poor, forgotten, overlooked and sick. By spending less on presents, we can free up our resources and join Him in meeting physical and spiritual needs around the world.
Throughout the month of December, there will be opportunities to give away money you would have otherwise spent on holiday loot by putting it in a red advent conspiracy envelope and dropping it in Mosaic’s offering. 100% of the funds will be redistributed to projects to serve Portland, Haiti, Kosovo, and provide clean water through Living Water International.
I think it's a pretty cool conspiracy....
the never ending list...
November 27-waking up early to start the day with a run and a friend, starbucks peppermint mochas, baking with cinnamon, journaling, playing games, watching movies, ice cream, eating a traditional thanksgiving dinner, friends to hang out with, my family!!!
November 28- sleeping in, running up stairs, stretching, trader joe's, candles, silence, cleaning with bleach, the library, going to work and liking it
November 29- work with friends, finally being able to sleep after 24 hours
November 30- learning new things at work, times to laugh (and practice IV starts ;) stairs with Katie, the beginning of advent, community, good songs on the radio
Well, I could do this every day- but it has been a fun activity for the month of November. Thanks, God, for abundant blessings, and allowing me to remember all of the reasons I am so thankful.
"Let your roots grow down deep in Him, and let your lives be built on Him. Then your faith will grow strong... and you will OVERFLOW WITH THANKFULNESS." Colossians 2:7
November 28- sleeping in, running up stairs, stretching, trader joe's, candles, silence, cleaning with bleach, the library, going to work and liking it
November 29- work with friends, finally being able to sleep after 24 hours
November 30- learning new things at work, times to laugh (and practice IV starts ;) stairs with Katie, the beginning of advent, community, good songs on the radio
Well, I could do this every day- but it has been a fun activity for the month of November. Thanks, God, for abundant blessings, and allowing me to remember all of the reasons I am so thankful.
"Let your roots grow down deep in Him, and let your lives be built on Him. Then your faith will grow strong... and you will OVERFLOW WITH THANKFULNESS." Colossians 2:7
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Thanksgiving eve week in review~
November 19- chiropractic adjustments, reflection, driving under the dusky sunset listening to missy higgins, a new sweater, shopping at Target
November 20- encouraging words, hanging out in my cozy apartment in my pajamas all afternoon with coffee and chocolate doing "work", praying my plans, networking, a great workout, Thai food
November 21- finishing a book, papaya, being able to communicate easily with friends around the world
November 22- the comfort of familiar, fresh fruit and vegetables
November 23- thanksgiving dinner #1, surprise skype conversations, things to look forward to
November 24- running across the Hawthorne Bridge in the early morning cold air, my kind patients, tea, my car, getting to wear scrubs and a down vest
November 25- dinner invitations, studying the Bible, warm peanut butter cookies, conversations, pictures and stories of hope from Kosovo
November 26- phone conversations lasting over 2 hours (and having multiple friends who will talk to me for that long!) a good workout, sunshine, great harvest bread, dinner conversations (and thanksgiving dinner #2!) seeing families together
November 20- encouraging words, hanging out in my cozy apartment in my pajamas all afternoon with coffee and chocolate doing "work", praying my plans, networking, a great workout, Thai food
November 21- finishing a book, papaya, being able to communicate easily with friends around the world
November 22- the comfort of familiar, fresh fruit and vegetables
November 23- thanksgiving dinner #1, surprise skype conversations, things to look forward to
November 24- running across the Hawthorne Bridge in the early morning cold air, my kind patients, tea, my car, getting to wear scrubs and a down vest
November 25- dinner invitations, studying the Bible, warm peanut butter cookies, conversations, pictures and stories of hope from Kosovo
November 26- phone conversations lasting over 2 hours (and having multiple friends who will talk to me for that long!) a good workout, sunshine, great harvest bread, dinner conversations (and thanksgiving dinner #2!) seeing families together
Friday, November 21, 2008
worth a thought...
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"
-Mary Oliver
-Mary Oliver
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
another week of THANKFUL
November 11- early morning spinning, genuine compliments, reading the Bible and remembering again and again how fascinating it is
November 12- baking, a clean apartment, friends dropping by, good new music, reading in bed
November 13- drinking cold water, snacks at work, having some knowledge to share
November 14- a weekend away, fun friends, laughing, good songs that get in your head
NOvember 15- beach hiking, bonfire and making smores, watching a movie, staying up late
November 16- early morning run on the beach, coffee at Bella, good conversation
November 17- shared Thai food at 3am, sleeping deeply all day
November 18- hot showers, dinner with friends at a table, coconut gelato, a fabulous run, fresh clean clothes
November 12- baking, a clean apartment, friends dropping by, good new music, reading in bed
November 13- drinking cold water, snacks at work, having some knowledge to share
November 14- a weekend away, fun friends, laughing, good songs that get in your head
NOvember 15- beach hiking, bonfire and making smores, watching a movie, staying up late
November 16- early morning run on the beach, coffee at Bella, good conversation
November 17- shared Thai food at 3am, sleeping deeply all day
November 18- hot showers, dinner with friends at a table, coconut gelato, a fabulous run, fresh clean clothes
Thursday, November 13, 2008
wet, dirty, smelly...
welcome to running in oregon in november...
am I really going to do this all winter?!
well, my shoes were clean...
am I really going to do this all winter?!
well, my shoes were clean...
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
adding to the list...
November 5- the opportunity to recieve medical care, inspiration through music, text messages, talking to my grandma
November 6- new music to run to, productive morning with coffee, a new stethoscope!
November 7- chocolate ice cream, being immersed in a book, great coworkers
November 8-God’s provision, friends, diet coke, scripture
November 9- lots of sleep, meeting new people, going to church
November 10- working out, skype conversations, memories, being reminded of God’s arms around the whole world, the beauty of the blanket of yellow leaves which covers the sidewalks and streets like confetti
November 6- new music to run to, productive morning with coffee, a new stethoscope!
November 7- chocolate ice cream, being immersed in a book, great coworkers
November 8-God’s provision, friends, diet coke, scripture
November 9- lots of sleep, meeting new people, going to church
November 10- working out, skype conversations, memories, being reminded of God’s arms around the whole world, the beauty of the blanket of yellow leaves which covers the sidewalks and streets like confetti
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
November thankfulness
In keeping with my tradition, I'm going to make a list on Thanksgiving day of every possible thing I can think of that I am thankful for. My sister and I have been doing this for years, and have recruited whomever we can get to join the list-making tradition. This "list" has been going on in my head for the past few weeks, however. So I decided that I am going to remember the little things from every day in November, and post them once a week.
November 1-beautiful weather (rain, fall leaves, and cool air) living in oregon, free time
November 2-finishing an awesome book, talking to God, laughs at work (being able to go to work!)
November 3-afternoon sleep, dinner and deep conversation, FRIENDS!
November 4-hilly morning run over a blanket of yellow leaves, stumptown coffee (the BEST!) with annie, democracy (and the energy surrounding it!)
November 1-beautiful weather (rain, fall leaves, and cool air) living in oregon, free time
November 2-finishing an awesome book, talking to God, laughs at work (being able to go to work!)
November 3-afternoon sleep, dinner and deep conversation, FRIENDS!
November 4-hilly morning run over a blanket of yellow leaves, stumptown coffee (the BEST!) with annie, democracy (and the energy surrounding it!)
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