Tuesday, March 9, 2010

still. KNOW.

'be STILL and know that I am God.' psalm 46:10

today is heavy, difficult, and painful. I am having a hard time.
God speaks these words to me, and I want with everything I am to KNOW them and believe them.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

March

I am leaving for Cambodia later this month!
I feel like I need to write out more of my thoughts; as this time is sweet and beautiful and I don’t want it passing away without writing down even a fraction of how much I’m thinking.

In the past few days, I have heard some important words from Jesus; from my Bible and through the words of David Platt in some sermons I downloaded online. Here are some of them:

'In the same way, any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple.' Luke 14:33

‘If you want to be my disciple, you must hate everyone else by comparison—your father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even your own life. Otherwise, you cannot be my disciple.’ Luke 14:26

‘but none of these things move me; neither do I esteem my life dear to myself, if only I may finish my course with joy and the ministry which I have obtained from the Lord Jesus; faithfully to attest to the good news of God's grace.’ Acts 20:24

‘A certain ruler asked him, "Good teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?" "Why do you call me good?" Jesus answered. "No one is good—except God alone. You know the commandments: 'Do not commit adultery, do not murder, do not steal, do not give false testimony, honor your father and mother.' "All these I have kept since I was a boy," he said. When Jesus heard this, he said to him, "You still lack one thing. Sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me." When he heard this, he became very sad, because he was a man of great wealth. Jesus looked at him and said, "How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God! Indeed, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God."
Those who heard this asked, "Who then can be saved?" Jesus replied, "What is impossible with men is possible with God." Peter said to him, "We have left all we had to follow you!" "I tell you the truth," Jesus said to them, "no one who has left home or wife or brothers or parents or children for the sake of the kingdom of God will fail to receive many times as much in this age and, in the age to come, eternal life.’ Luke 18:18-30

'Think back on those early days when you first learned about Christ. Remember how you remained faithful even though it meant terrible suffering. Sometimes you were exposed to public ridicule and were beaten, and sometimes you helped others who were suffering the same things. You suffered along with those who were thrown into jail, and when all you owned was taken from you, you accepted it with joy. You knew there were better things waiting for you that will last forever.' Hebrews 10:32-34

'So do not be afraid of them. There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known. What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight; what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the roofs. Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell. Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered.’ Matthew 10:26-30

All of these words speak so much to me; most importantly, they make me deeply joyful to follow Jesus.

He reminds me:

I do not need to be afraid. He knows the number of hairs on my head.

I want to be like Peter: ‘Lord, we left ALL WE HAD to follow you.’

As Paul says in his letter to the Hebrews, ‘when all you had was taken from you, you accepted it with joy; knowing that better things were waiting…’ despite what the world around me shouts.

I believe that I will find true life if I am willing to lose my life for His sake- even if I don’t see what that ‘true life’ looks like for a long time.

I want it to be clear that I love Jesus with ALL my heart, soul, and mind because of the way I live.
This is hard to write, because it is HARD to live. but it's true.


I don’t write this because I think that it will be easy, or that it is easy. But it IS my heart. I DO believe it with all my heart. And I am excited and most of all joyful to open my hands to Jesus for the rest of my life. This isn’t new, or just starting now. But I am, I suppose, beginning a new step soon.

I am sometimes afraid of the unknowns that lie ahead. I don’t at all think this is straightforward, or simple, or going to be easy. I will cry a lot when I have to say goodbye to the people that I love in my house and in my family. But I trust Jesus MORE.

And I have decided if anything, I would like the trust and JOY found only in Him to be known deeply by those in my life. I want to love those around me well these last days because He loves us well; and pray that He could use this time in all of us to remind us of what this time we have here on earth is really about. It is not about the things that so often take up our time and our energy. Forgive us, Lord.

I believe Jesus STILL seeks to change the world- through imperfect followers like us. I pray we could be deaf to what the world around us deems important, and then be able to hear from Jesus who still calls us today to ‘give up everything, and come follow me!’