Saturday, July 30, 2011

new chapter on the journey

As much of the work within medicine may be familiar and comfortable to me, I want to be sensitive to the needs of those around me and not stop at involvement in obvious medical need. This is not the main issue, and yet I feel so grateful to have been given a door by which to enter into the lives of those around me.

This past week, a few of us gathered outside a house, a very simple shack on borrowed land. As I listened to one of my patients share, the young woman who called this place home, my mind raced. She cried a little, telling us of her feelings of hopelessness. She told us how her husband had left and she was alone. She was young, jobless, and poor. She had just been diagnosed with cancer a few days before.

What was next? Maybe surgery? But there wasn’t enough money. Yet, with what value do we measure her life?

God, you are a God of justice. Give us wisdom. Where do we go from here?

We offered what support we could with our words and presence. I honestly wondered if it even mattered. I wondered if she saw us as only rich workers in an organization who had the power to help-- but would only sit with her, offering words, which didn’t feel like enough…

Is this a place for questioning? And judgment is unfortunately too easy…

I know there are more questions to ask.

I know this is only the beginning of our involvement in this one life.

And I know that I have only just begun a new chapter in the journey; where once again I have the privilege of getting up close and personal with many who hurt.

So I pray against being callous and hardened- against getting ‘used to’ the poverty of hopelessness around me, because through Jesus we have been offered more. Tears fall when I recall these situations, and even though I am tired of my emotions always revealed, I don’t want the tears to stop when I am no longer ‘new’ at this job. Even though I have only just met her, I will remind myself that it is okay to cry. She is His child. He loves her deeply.

He has given us hope in what is bigger than the feelings of despair that often seem to prevail in this community, and I will continue to shed tears for those He loves, and cling to Hope.

I do have confidence in His promises unfolding and in His love. For this woman, her neighbors, and for us, too; as we do our best to make His hope and justice come on earth as it is in Heaven.

We know what real love is because Jesus gave up his life for us. So we also ought to give up our lives for our brothers and sisters. If someone has enough money to live well and sees a brother or sister in need but shows no compassion- how can God’s love be in that person? Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions.’ 1 John 3:16-18

Saturday, July 23, 2011

year 2


…though they may surround me like lions
and crush me on all sides,
I may fall, but I will rise
not by my might, or my power, or by the strength of souls
only by Your love, my Lord.

[rise, josh garrels]


I have finished my first full week of work in Cambodia! And as I begin year two, I can say that I feel confident I am right where God wants me for this period of life. I am excited to work in a role where I very much feel like I ‘fit’ and really look forward to getting to know some of my patients, as well as better knowing those I work with.

In the past weeks, many thoughts have been swirling around in my mind. I want to write, but I often can’t find the words...

I am thinking lots, praying lots, (although there is always room for more… )

more soon….

visiting a patient at her home this past week

Monday, July 11, 2011

3am haiku

awake in the dark
sleepless lonely and thinking
waiting for the light