awake

The past 96 hours:
48 were spent at work
16 were spent sleeping...
and at 4:08 am somehow my mind is buzzing and I am alive with energy....

despite the times of exhaustion, my job is fantastic!

O Lord Jesus, you who came to us to show the compassionate love of your Father, make your people know this love with their hearts, minds, and souls. So often we feel lonely, unloved, and lost in this valley of tears. We desire to feel affection, tenderness, care, and compassion, but suffer from inner darkness, emptiness, and numbness. I pray tonight: Come Lord Jesus, come. Do not just come to our understanding, but enter our hearts- our passions, emotions, and feelings- and reveal your presence to us in our inmost being. As long as you remain absent from that intimate core of our experience, we will keep clinging to people, things, or events to find some warmth, some sense of belonging. Only when you really come, really touch us, set us ablaze with your love, only then will we become free and let go of all false forms of belonging. Without that inner warmth, all our ascetical attempts remain trivial, and we might even get entangled in the complex network of our own good intentions. O Lord, I pray that your children may come to feel your presence and be immersed in your deep, warm, affectionate love. And to me, O Lord, your stumbling friend, show your mercy. Amen.
~Henri Nouwen

consider

I read this article today called "Doing Short-Term Missions without Doing Long-Term Harm" which talks about the explosion of short term mission trips ministering to the poor around the world. Although this is not new information to me, I think it is important to reflect on. Here are some highlights I found worth sharing!

~Most STM trips violate basic principles of effective poverty-alleviation and have the potential to do considerable harm both to low-income people and to ourselves.
~One of the key principles for effective ministry in low-income communities is discerning whether the context calls for “relief,”—short-term handouts to people in an emergency situation—or “development”—walking with people over time in a way that brings reconciliation of foundational relationships with God, self, others, and creation.
~Relief and development are very different sorts of interventions, requiring different skills, approaches, human and financial resources, and time. It is not always easy to discern which intervention is appropriate, but a good rule of thumb is to ask yourself the following question: Are the people in this community capable of helping themselves? If the answer is “yes,” then relief is not the right intervention.
~Most low-income people are suffering from chronic issues that may affect their self-image and sense of purpose. Such feelings of inferiority, hopelessness, and meaninglessness cannot be overcome by handouts from a STM team or anybody else.
~STM trips often make the serious mistake of providing relief in contexts in which development is the appropriate intervention. Providing handouts of goods and services in such a situation can do enormous damage by undermining the willingness and capacity of low-income communities to be stewards of their own human and physical assets.
~Instead of focusing on the gifts and abilities that God has placed in low-income communities, the implicit assumption of many STM trips can be, “We must come in and build houses for you, because you don’t have the materials or know-how to do so yourselves. You need us to show you how to run Vacation Bible Schools in your community because we know more than you do.” This “needs-based” approach exacerbates the feelings of inferiority that are rampant in many low-income communities and can inflate the sense of superiority of the STM teams.
~Every STM team should ask itself: What are we doing to the testimony of the local church that already exists in this community? The reality is that often the local churches in poor communities cannot compete on the same stage with U.S. suburban churches in terms of their ability to put on a glitzy program. When STM teams come in with an abundance of resources and glossy Vacation Bible School materials, they look better and are often more attractive than the local church. STM teams need to ask: How can we be less on the front stage and more supportive of the local church and its ministry?
~Rather than going as “doers,” some powerful dynamics can be unleashed if STM teams go as “learners” from the poor or as “co-learners” with the poor. Going as a learner emphasizes the gifts which poor people have to share with others: the spiritual, intellectual, physical, and social resources that God has already placed in their community.
~Listening to people and asking them to share their insights affirms their dignity and reduces the tendencies towards pride on the part of the outsiders. Furthermore, the poor really do have something to teach us, for they have unique insights on what it means to trust in a sovereign God to “give us this day our daily bread.”

Source: The Chalmers Centre at Covenant College. The Chalmers Center for Economic and Community Development at Covenant College trains the church worldwide how to minister to the poor without creating dependency.

chocolate chai and thrombocytopenia

sweet
cold
rich
smooth
icy
calm
relieved
ordinary
famililar
scattered
stories
laughs
comfortable
easy
uneasy
cautious
on edge
watchful
hoping
nervous
fragile
careful
warning
teaching
waiting
uncertain