adventures in reading...again.

When I was in kindergarten, I remember being really excited to go to the school library for the first time. I found a book with all text and no pictures and proceeded to go to the librarian to check it out. She was a soft-spoken elderly woman, who questioned me when she took one look at the book. Why would I want to check out a book with no pictures and a whole lot of tiny words under a plain black hard cover when I was 5 years old and couldn’t even read?

I remember wanting to check out this book because I wanted so badly to learn to read. I didn’t want to go through the stage of the beginning learner; where I would have to read a picture book with only a word or two on each page. I wanted to be able to read for real! And I wanted to appear smart. Maybe if I pulled out the book on the school bus and stared at it long enough I might learn something? Or I might at least look like I knew something?

She did allow me to check out the book, even though I’m sure she was laughing on the inside as she watched me proudly walk away with my new “I look smart now” book. I also remember looking at the book a few days later and admitting that it really wasn’t very interesting; and I would have been better off with the books that my friends had- brightly colored children’s books which were appropriate for my age level.

So, I suppose I have grown up and matured since then…??

Learning to read and write my second language, I really didn’t ever want to get above my head. I wanted to be challenged, and I really wanted to learn, but I didn’t want to appear that I knew more than I did. (Perhaps I have gone in the other direction?!)
So I have been working hard, and waiting patiently.
Can you read?
Well, not really.
A little…

Today I bought my first ‘real’ dictionary. Because I had a simple one but I actually needed to know more words than I could find in it. And because I can actually use the words, write them, and even read some of them! And yesterday I bought my first Bible in Khmer, too. Maybe it’s cheating a little because each page is half in English. But that is where I am at. And yes, realistically I will not really be reading it (as one reads a book) anytime soon. But because I found myself stealing my friend’s Bible over and over to look up references or to copy a verse or two, I figured perhaps it was time to get my own.

It’s funny to me that now it seems a little scary to me—these two “grown up” book purchases. I am intimidated a little. I feel like I should really know something if I need to use them. (and do I, really?!) Yikes. But I have to admit, it is fun!