journey

He opened up my eyes and heart,
bringing further clarity and direction to my gifts and purpose.

my heart burst with excitement
as I pondered and prayed about what form
these visions might take

for months I waited and prayed,
as I sensed what was beginning to unfold.
I had an idea;
but at first I remained uncommitted and objective

hesitant to commit; or to let my heart go there.

yet deep down; I knew this was it.
at least the work and the purpose

maybe the form would change;

but I couldn’t imagine work I would rather do.

I found myself wondering
how did I miss it
all this time…?

and there it was-
the opportunity I was hoping for
offered;
only waiting for acceptance.

I rejoiced
and slowly allowed my heart to open.
for awhile I remained in this space
of expectation and joy

and then

He said no.
this wasn’t it.
not now.

I thought it was perfect.
He said it wasn’t.

the vision remains
but the job;
no longer an option.

I don’t know why.

I don’t know where I am going.

for now, I mourn and wait.