Monday, March 23, 2009

no regrets

About a week ago I had a patient whose situation rocked me. For some reason I could easily put myself in his place. The whole night I kept thinking: If my life and his were switched, would I have regrets? I pondered this all night, and into the week.

I decided no, I wouldn’t have any regrets. Yet it was still something I needed to think about. And I never want to get out of that place of being aware. Sensitive to people. Being grateful in the day to day. Noticing the little things. Celebrating my health. Rejoicing in being alive. Only the Lord knows when things may change.

Sometimes I feel calloused in my job- or because of it. I think it is natural, but I don’t want to be hardened to the things that matter. Life is short. I want mine to count.

“Lord, remind me how brief my time on earth will be.
Remind me that my days are numbered— how fleeting my life is. You have made my life no longer than the width of my hand. My entire lifetime is just a moment to you; at best, each of us is but a breath. We are merely moving shadows, and all our busy rushing ends in nothing. We heap up wealth, not knowing who will spend it. And so, Lord, where do I put my hope? My only hope is in you. Rescue me from my rebellion.”
Psalm 39:4-8

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