2010

what a year!

Christmas is about Jesus...

These have been the words we have repeated lately; to our friends here who don’t know, and to ourselves, too, with a smile. It might not ‘feel’ like Christmas here, but two days from now, we will celebrate the birth of the Savior of the world—whether there are Christmas trees and snow in Cambodia or not.

I have been meditating on these prophesies from Isaiah this week; and really can’t get over how amazing they are; in the context of the whole Story, and spoken 700 some years before Jesus was born.

All right then, the Lord himself will give you the sign. Look! The virgin will conceive a child! She will give birth to a son and will call him Immanuel (which means ‘God is with us’). (7:14)

The people who walk in darkness will see a great light. For those who live in a land of deep darkness, a light will shine. You will enlarge the nation of Israel, and its people will rejoice. They will rejoice before you as people rejoice at the harvest and like warriors dividing the plunder. For you will break the yoke of their slavery and lift the heavy burden from their shoulders. (9:2-4)

For a child is born to us, a son is given to us. The government will rest on his shoulders. And he will be called: Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. His government and its peace will never end. He will rule with fairness and justice from the throne of his ancestor David for all eternity. (9:6-7)

In that day the heir to David’s throne will be a banner of salvation to all the world. The nations will rally to him, and the land where he lives will be a glorious place. (11:10)


I have been so blessed to witness this 'banner of salvation' across the world this past year.
Christmas=Jesus: GOOD NEWS indeed.

learning (and re-learning) grace

The other day I was frustrated. A few different times; about more than I could even put my finger on. I picked up my journal and started writing. I wrote and wrote. And as I wrote, peace and grace came over me. It was so unmistakable I had to pause.

I realized that a big issue that I am having (for probably over a year or more, but especially since I have arrived here) is the issue of GRACE, and that I am not good at accepting it or understanding it. I get it, in theory. I understand how other people should claim it and rejoice in it. I see why they should; it makes sense to me. I know that it is the most beautiful gift we have each ever received through Jesus; really, it is too beautiful for words. It doesn't make any sense at all; which only makes it that much more amazing. but I am still so bad at accepting it in practice; in real life! today I wondered if half the reason God put me here for this time is to teach me about grace.

I had the thought today that it would be so much easier to have a "normal" job, earn my own money, do my own thing, and not have to be accountable to anyone or worry about what anyone else thought--- because it would be "MY" life.
well, besides that totally missing the point, I realized that it is not only selfish and silly, but THAT is perhaps precisely why I have none of those things--- and why it is so hard for me! (I had no idea it would be so hard)

because I am not very good at having to be accountable to a whole lot of people for "what" I am doing, what my days look like, how good my language is, how I spend money, and what I am doing to "earn" it. I feel like a failure in most of these areas all too often. the feeling of having to do my best (which is what I am actually doing) to me almost seems impossible to ever reach--- because there is always MORE I could be doing. it's true, there is. but in the meantime I would fall apart, and sometimes I feel like I am, on the inside-- because I keep trying to measure up what I think my BEST should look like.

meanwhile, I am forgetting the point. I am actually doing my best. my heart and motives are right. I believe with all my heart that I am following Jesus with my whole life, and this just happens to be where He put me for this time. and so, I will BE here. and continue to do my best. but also know that I have been given GRACE because nothing I ever do is going to be "good enough...." and that is ok.

It was almost like God spoke to me out loud. Romans 8:1, 34. "who then, will condemn us? no one-- for Christ Jesus died for us and was raised to life for us..."

I don't know that I have learned it yet. or if I ever will. I know I have been aware of this before; even in the last few months. but still, it sneaks up on me and takes control of me sometimes until I focus on this gift of grace I have been offered instead. I am thankful, even though it is still almost too much to wrap my head around... (not to mention my life)

yikes. and I can't believe I am about to post this on a blog. (!)

tangible love

for all of the TANGIBLE LOVE I have received recently

recipes
canned pumpkin
fireworks
almonds
sidewalk chalk
new guitar (!!)
dove and seasalt chocolate
tj's peanut butter pretzels
hugs
peanut butter M+M’s
granola bars
new books
hairspray
fresh flowers
hand written (and typed!) letters
almond butter
soap
macaroni and cheese
starbucks via
peanut butter puffins cereal
holiday candles
love from Stumptown
cards
hand wipes
trail mix
sweet words
mascara
sunscreen
earrings
my favorite cheese from Oregon
coffee

THANK YOU. I am grateful beyond words. My heart is overcome with thanksgiving that I would be so loved; I am so filled and encouraged.


‘You treat me to a feast, while my enemies watch.
You honor me as your guest, and you fill my cup until it overflows.'
psalm 23:5, cev