Monday, October 1, 2012

blind and lost

it happened
I live that other part of the world now
the one that is beautiful and comfortable
and really different

I worried it might feel like this
like I went away for awhile
-disappeared to that other place-
and when I got back it was familiar enough
I could pick up where I left off and keep going-

[was that what I was supposed to do?]

that other place I was- did it really happen?

that dusty humid air
mud and sweat, friendly smiles
[the presence of God amidst the tangible aches of life]
the children that called out after me on the road
the babies I held; the patients I cared for

those words I used to communicate in;
they continue to come to my mind,
threaten to escape my lips
and yet I remain quiet
because they aren't needed anymore

did all of those days happen the way I remember them?

for all the raw pain I witnessed, and felt too
it all feels so far away now
forgotten

I hate it

that in the hours that passed when I journeyed from one land to another

life went away
was replaced
is different
and sometimes I feel blind and lost

3 comments:

scottandkatie said...

I love you Gretch!

Mom said...

We want to hug you now! Mom n'Dad

Zach and Amanda said...

This is beautiful, eloquent, gut wrenching and captivating. We understand. We are so thankful that we got to see you in Cambodia!